Tied To The Mast - Plain Lazy

Being described as ‘a British band with a difference,’ Tied To The Mast take the best parts from both sides of the Atlantic and blend it together to form a new infectious cocktail.

Recorded, produced and mastered in their own studio, their debut single, ‘Plain Lazy’ sends the listener into a trance-like-state. Complicated riffs are a thing of the past for this band as they go back to basics and create a song that has you marvelling at the simplistic and superb final product.

Catchy riffs mixed with hypnotic guitar licks and a steamy seductive vocal give future fans of Tied To The Mast a glimpse of their wider side.

Even the video keeps with the idea of simplicity; either that or it’s highlighting the fact someone dressed as a mummy can still skateboard. Filmed in 3 hours, edited in half a day, Tied To The Mast are following in the footsteps of The Pixies – If it’s not being done, do it yourself.

It’s easy to see why this tune is being hailed as ‘the perfect summer soundtrack’. Like with most bands that come from the boys at Mostar Records, Tied To The Mast are unique and cutting edge. And it’s evident to see (and hear) that this band is anything but lazy.



Rating: 4 out of 5
Release Date: 28th July 2011
Label: Mostar Records

The Dangerous Idiots - Dangerous Idiots EP

'Gulch rock? What is gulch rock?’

As one of Mostar’s regular reviewers for the last six months or so, I had never come across a term like this before. Even a quick Google search led to a dead end. There was only one thing to do - ask the man whose band claims to produce this unique style of music.

“It’s music that sounds like it’s echoing out of a desert ravine as you and your friends are looking for a safe spot to bury the body.” Aaron Sarlo says, singer and guitarist for American band, The Dangerous Idiots.

Still unclear about what it is? Well don’t let that put you off when it comes to their debut album, released today on Itunes. Fans of The Foo Fighters, The Pixies and classic indie rock bands, are in for a treat with Dangerous Idiots, their first EP released on record label Mostar Records.

Like no other album I’ve listened to, they make their intention known from the very beginning track in such an obvious and blunt way. From the moment you hear ‘Are you tired of all the bullshit?’ that leads into their track, ‘He who has the information is the leader,’ it’s clear that this is no ordinary band, nor album. With the song written during Bush’s reign in America, it’s more than lyrics, it’s a statement.

“It was a mighty purging in my mind that helped me come to terms with the thoughtlessness rampant in American life,” Aaron says.

Unlike artists who find a style that works and stick to it throughout the album, The Dangerous Idiots will continue to leave you guessing, wondering what the next song on the album will have to offer. And it never disappoints!

From the catchy bass riff on ‘Never want to let you go,’ to the soft sound of ‘Less for you’ the band gives the listener a new experience with every track. Fans of Kansas’ ‘Dust in the wind,’ however, will have to fight back the urge to sing ‘I close my eyes,’ at the beginning of the album’s final track, ‘Sad.’ It took me a few listens before I stopped subconsciously mouthing the words.

Chicago born Aaron Sarlo has had previous success with bands. His high school group ‘Techno-Squid Eats Parliament’ was signed to Ardent Records and featured on MTV’s ‘120 minutes.’ They even released one of the world’s first audio-visual CDs that included the band’s record, as well as photos, videos and behind-the-scene footage.

It’ll be silly to think then that The Dangerous Idiots would conform to what is ‘commercial’ at the minute. Instead they are looking for what’s going to take off in the future, and will make sure that they’re at the forefront of it.

My favourite track on the album has to be ‘Can I get a role model?’ With its Fountains of Wayne style verses mixed with a rock chorus The Clash would be proud of it, I’ve been putting it on repeat since I got the album through.

It’s been difficult to try and get across in a review how diverse Dangerous Idiots EP is. Aaron describes the band as, “intense, literal, cinematic and button pushy,” which definitely comes across in their new album. With emotional songs, political lyrics and just plain catchy tunes, it’s one of the few times I’ve been surprised by an album - but in a good way.

Aaron has shown once again he has what it takes to make an interesting and exciting album and I’m sure there is more to see from this promising band.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Release Date: 6th July 2011
Label: Mostar Records

TeaTronik - Home

TeaTronik have shaken things up down at Mostar Records HQ by introducing a new sound altogether.

Fans of Portishead, Fever Ray and Enya will no doubt enjoy the soothing tones and although it's not my cup of tea, credit where credits due, the excellent pianist and the vocals of Monica Harkin are highly impressive.

The Dublin based duo of Celsey McFadden and Monica Harkin new single, Home, sees you drifting out to see leaving all your troubles and problems behind. The pair's unique sound of haunting vocals and computer generated beats means there is a fine divide between loving this music and not.

Unfortunately, for me it's a not. But I have no qualms that this will still be a successful song by a due who have buckets of natural talent.



Rating: 2 out of 5
Release Date: 23rd June 2011
Label: Mostar Records

The Future Shape of Sound - Thinking Bad Thoughts

Having never heard of The Future Shape of Sound before my only guess, before I pressed play, was that this track was going to be a mixture of futuristic and minamalistic vibes. On the contrary though I found myself thinking that I had just turned on the soundtrack to a 60's London gangster movie or caught the end of 'Lock, Stock and two smoking Barrels.'

The catchy addictive basses and female harmonies mean that Thinking Bad Thoughts, goes from your average retro tune into another classic produced by the boys at Mostar Records.

Fans of CSI Miami, The OC and Six Feet Under will have heard the band's feel good music before but making the leap is always a tricky one and TFSOS cleared the mark in style.

With their Eleven 59 EP released later this year, this track has teased you into wanting to hear more from the self confessed Space Age Ganster soul makers.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Release Date: 10th June 2011
Label: Mostar Records

LickSpittle - Lush Hound

The next chapter in what will no doubt be a long novel has arrived from the twosome behind LickSpittle. After announcing their arrival with a unique, unclassified sound and dapper dress sense, Jimmy Suds and Kid Kudos, return with their new track, Lush Hound, which was released on the 23rd May.

Unsurprisingly, it’s another gem that is full of catchy guitar riffs and effective drum fills. On first listen you’ll be forgiven for thinking that this is Electric Six on the comeback, but LickSpittle are unique in that they are bringing the ‘fun’ back into ‘funky music.’

A far cry away from their debut single, Lush Hound creates an environment where you can crack out the air band and rock poses and not feel embarrassed.

It has all the makings of a song that inspires craziness on the dance floor. In moments when dance moves aren’t important and all that matters is having a good time, Lush Hound will be the next track on.

(Preview of Lush Hound)

Rating: 4 out of 5

Release Date: 23rd May 2011

Label: Mostar Records

LickSpittle – Steve McQueen

Deep basses and smooth beats, LickSpittle is trying desperately to hold on to the 90s grunge and indie pop scene – and it works. Instead of trying to jump on board an already overbooked boat, LickSpittle is setting sail themselves with a refreshing take on modern electric pop.

With exciting guitar riffs and syncopated rhythms, Steve McQueen is a debut single Lickspittle can be proud of.

The use of subtle dynamics and catchy hooks creates a song that repeats in your head even after you’ve finished listening to it.

Steve McQueen is a fresh track from a fresh band but after whetting our appetite, all eyes are focused to see what Kid Kudos and Jimmy Suds can do next.

(Preview of Steve McQueen)

Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Release Date: 28th February 2011
Label: Mostar Records

The Riot Tapes - Photograph

Straight out of Dublin, The Riot Tapes began their quest for success after Chris O’brien and Elaine Doyle joined forces in 2009. Fast forward two years and debut single Photograph is out and getting recognition from multiple radio stations across Ireland.

The track feels like it should be accompanied by a cheesy American teenage movie, where a girl and guy has just figured out they love each other. But don’t let that put you off, the strangulated guitars and great vocals quickly catch on and you inevitably find yourself bobbing along.

The intelligent use of breaks adds a rippling dimension as the music builds and falls before the finale, the kiss.

It says a lot about a song when it can be played back-to-back five times and still not get boring. Photograph has that quality. The more it’s played the more is released and the easier it is to see why this band are spreading across Ireland like wildfire.

Photograph is the culmination of two years hard work rolled into 3 minutes and 48 seconds and it shouldn’t be long before the wildfire spreads and they captivate a wider audience.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Release Date: 23rd March 2011
Label: Mostar Records

Hallam FM Website Story 3

This is a piece I had published on the Hallam FM web pages while I was completing work experience there. Sorry there are no pictures to go with my story.

"A young mum is celebrating after returning from America with her son.

Rebecca Williams, from Swallownest, travelled to the US with her son Ben, so he could receive specialist treatment for his undiagnosed condition. And after a four week intense course she says he’s a changed boy.

Ben, 6, suffers with Global Developmental Delay, a hole in the heart, a failure to thrive and epilepsy, just to name a few. Before they left for America Rebecca said life was hard work as Ben had to be supervised at all times.

She said,

“He had very stiff legs, he had very limited motor skills in his hands which meant he couldn’t do things, like play.” He also struggled with eating and talking and had to use Makaton sign language to communicate.

But after a month long trip to a medical centre in America, mother and son are immediately seeing the benefits.

Rebecca said, “It’s like they’ve popped a little bubble and before we went he used to just sit and watch everything that was going off. Now everything he sees he can now do. He’s like a little person.”

The treatment Ben received had various elements from the early morning warm up massages to the specialist therasuit he was given. The suit, like an external skeleton, gave Ben sensory feedback on his muscles for everyday things we take for granted.

As well as this he also had four hours a day of physical therapy, weight training and time spent playing in a ‘Spider Cage.’ The specialist cage “builds up their confidence so they know they’re not going to fall over,” Rebecca said.

After just one trip Rebecca says Ben’s “got a little character about himself which he’s not had before because he’s not been able to express himself.”

It’s far from over for the both of them and as they are now in the process of trying to raise another £10,000 for a return trip to the states in the New Year. Rebecca hopes that future trips will bring even more progress and will help Ben reach his full potential.

She said, “You always look at Ben and think he’s got so much more to give and you’ve just got to try. Try and get the best out of your own child.”

The next fundraiser is a 1960s and 70s night at The Tabard in Herringthorpe Valley Road, Rotherham, on July 22 from 7pm.

A live music event will follow on Bank Holiday Monday August 30 at The Bridge Inn, Rotherham, featuring bands playing all day and into the evening. A magician will also be there to entertain the children.

Rebecca would like to thank everyone who has supported her throughout, her friends, her family and the local community. She wouldn’t have been able to do this without their help.

To learn more about Ben, read about future events and to make a donation log on to
http://www.fundraise-for-ben.co.uk/"

Hallam FM Website Story 2

This is a piece I had published on the Hallam FM web pages while I was completing work experience there. Sorry their are no pictures to go with my story.

"The Yorkshire Ripper has been told today that he will spend the rest of his life in custody.

Peter Sutcliffe, who's now known as Peter Coonan was convicted of 13 counts of murder back in 1981.

The former lorry driver received 20 life sentences for murdering 13 women and attempting to murder 7 others across Yorkshire and Greater Manchester. No formal limit on his sentence has ever been set - until the High Court made that call today.

Sarah Robinson, a Yorkshire Psychology expert, said:

"People don’t like the fact that he’s wanting to know these things because it’s almost like an insult. How dare you think that we will even consider this after the things you’ve done."

Sutcliffe has spent all of his years in custody at Broadmoor top security psychiatric hospital after being diagnosed as mentally ill.

He attacked his victims with a hammer, a sharpened screwdriver and a knife which gave him the "Ripper" name. His first murder was on 5 July 1975 and he claimed he was on a mission from God to kill prostitutes, despite not all of them working in the sex industry.

Mr Justice Mitting, said:

"This was a campaign of murder which terrorised the population of a large part of Yorkshire for several years."

He added,

"Apart from a terrorist outrage, it is difficult to conceive of circumstances in which one man could account for so many victims. Those circumstances alone make it appropriate to set a whole life term."

Tell us your reaction to this decision...."

Hallam FM Website Story

This is a piece I had published on the Hallam FM web pages while I was completing work experience there. Sorry their are no pictures to go with my story.

"Chesterfield FC’s £13 million stadium was unveiled this week ready for their first home friendly against Derby.

The B2net stadium has taken nearly a year to build and with only the finishing touches to add it will be ready well before the start of their season.

The seven thousand fans, who have bought tickets already, will enjoy the game with unrestricted views and an extra six inches of leg room.

“It’s something we’ve been trying to build for many many years,” Barrie Hubbard, Chairman of Chesterfield FC said.

“Everyone I’ve seen and spoken to think it’s fantastic and if we get people in then perhaps it is one of the major achievements ever happened in Chesterfield for many years.”

There is also a full size pitch with the option to go international if England host the World Cup in 2018. With Sheffield Wednesday being a match ground, Chesterfield’s new stadium would be used as a training camp for some of the biggest names in football.

“It’ll be a better place to come and play football,” Ian Breckin, Chesterfield’s Captain, said.

“We’ve got to make sure that we start the season well. It’s a fantastic ground and everyone is looking forward to getting the season up and running.”

The project was funded through friends and the major share holder Dave Allen, who now owns 80% of the shares. With banquet and conference facilities the club are hoping that it will all help fund the project.

“Football play 22 or 23 days a year where as the banqueting facilities they have on the first floor can be used 365 days, all year round,” John Curry, Project manager for GB building solutions, said.

As well as the football, behind the Midland’s Co-Operative Community Stand there will be a collection of facilities including one of only a few stadiums to have a permanent police office.

“Local authorities are getting involved with us,” John Croot, Community Director of Chesterfield FC said.

“We’ve got classrooms going in and a gymnasium area. We’ve got a range of partners including local PCTs where we work on healthy living initiatives. To some it up in a sentence, it’s using football as a vehicle to engage.”

The new stadium has been designed to accommodate everyone and anyone with a collection of new disabled seating both in the stand and pitch side. Four out the five lifts are also accessible by disabled people.

The changes mean that everyone will pay the same price for tickets, compared to Saltergate where the disabled were given a discount. But the club are saying that ticket prices will remain as they were last year for now.

Chesterfield also unveiled their new kit, keeping with the same sponsor Vodka Kick and the energy drink KICK."

Rap + Hip-Hop = Gun Crime??

This is a piece I wrote for Fuse Magazine that was published on Friday October 24th 2008. Sorry there are no photos but I couldn't find the article on line to get them.

Rap + Hip-Hop = Gun Crime??

"The news is littered with stories nowadays of youth crime, gang related muder, drug abuse and many more offences which are being pinned on the music which these offenders listen to. Can it really be considered that the Hip-Hop and Rap industries are responsible for this behaviour? To even begin to consider this it’s important to understand the history of it.

Collins dictionary describes Hip Hop as, “pop-culture movement compromising rap music, graffiti and break dancing,” but is that really what it started out like? The beginning of Hip Hop is still unclear today with many people believing it started in the 1970s. However, it was around long before this time, maybe not in the form we know today but the similarities are there. Earl Tucker (aka Snake Hips) was a popular performer at the Cotton Club and incorporated elements of what is now commonly known as Break Dancing.

The Cotton Club was a primarily white based Jazz club in New York City, which feature artists such as Duke of Ellington and Louis Armstrong. The Jazz influence continued throughout this era and in 1969 James Brown recorded two songs which influenced the drumming of today’s more commonly known rap. However, back when these were performing the music they played wasn’t considered offensive or “obscene” as many Hip Hop and Rap artists are being branded with lately.

The 1970s saw the rise of what many people see as the actual beginning of Hip Hop with the genre branching out into Rap and artists such as Grandmaster Flash and The Black Messengers entering the scene. One of the first major censoring campaigns took place in this era with The Black Messengers having to perform under the alias “Mechanical Devices” due to the controversy it brought with it.

The next few decades were the most important in turning Hip Hop into a genre associated with negative connotations. The introduction of “tagging” associated with graffiti was introduced, not to deface property as it has come to be used for, but was used by City couriers when they travelled on buses and the underground.

The gang related violence, which has become the main headline in most newspapers, has been blamed on the culture of Hip Hop, stemming from the publical display of violence by both Tupac Shakur and Christopher “Notorious B.I.G” Wallace in 1996, where gun violence claimed the lives of them both. The History of these two rappers turned the word Hip Hop into something of an obscenity.

With Notorious B.I.G and Tupac both involved in dealing drugs, gang related violence and with the promotion of this through their music videos, it is understandable why people are unhappy with how Hip Hop was portrayed. However, Hip Hop has taken a step back from the negativity it has received in the press, with many rappers and artists involved in charity events and campaigns such as P.Diddy and his “Vote or Die” or Dizzee Rascal’s single, Dean, donated to CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) which tackles suicides in young men, it is obvious to see that they are trying to turn over a new leaf and shake the negativity away from their music.

Chris Mckay"

Titanic 2 Review-'It's so bad it's.....'

( Credit: photobucket.com)

Usually that sentence is finished with the word ‘good’ or ‘funny’ but for this film another four letter word springs to mind.

Don’t ask me why I sat through 90 minutes of a sequel to James Cameron’s classic but I did. (Although it's not really the sequel it's just a modern day take on the original, confusing I know.)A new boat called the ‘Titanic 2’ (this is where the genius starts) is built to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of the original and follow the same route the first ship took.

You’re probably asking the same question I was when I heard about this, “Wasn’t the first film about an actual boat that sunk? And didn’t nearly 95% of its passengers on board die?” Historical facts like that though haven’t got in the way of Asylum Productions creating their straight to DVD movie, released on the 24th August.

The story, if you can call it a story is this; on the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened 'Titanic 2' follows the path of its namesake. (As you can tell a lot of work went into the plot.) The new ship has iceberg detecting radars and a reinforced bow (someone has done their homework.) But it hasn’t accounted for an 800mph tsunami resulting from global warming that hurls an iceberg into the side of the new ship (which isn’t made from the same strong material the front is because that would be silly.) The passengers and crew try and fight to stay alive but really it ends the exact same way. (Sorry to spoil it but when you name a boat after ‘Titanic’ what do you think is going to happen?)

From the outset the film is never going to be successful. The director should be fined for the numerous factual errors alone, my favourite being just 30 minutes in. Allegedly following the same path as the original, ‘Titanic 2’ pulls out of the dock and sails nicely past the Statue of Liberty, I could have sworn the first ship set off from England and was heading for New York?

As well as that, the ship must have one of those new handbrakes where it stops the boat immediately as soon as the propellers are turned off. I’m no ship expert but I don't think boats are capable of that.

If that wasn’t enough the dialogue and acting is definitely something else. To name a few gems;
“It may look like its predecessor but underneath it’s anything but,” and “It seems like history is repeating itself,” shows the pure imagination of the script writers. Even the cover of the DVD gives away the ending, 'Lightening Strikes Twice.' But you can’t blame the actors either; if you got a script through that had the words ‘Titanic 2’ on the front you wouldn’t give it your all. In fact, if I was nibbling on my last tin of Spam and was sheltering from the winter weather in a cardboard box I wouldn’t even accept an offer to be an extra in this film.

The tragic love story of Rose and Jack, portrayed by Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio has been replaced by Brooke Burns, (she was in Baywatch but obviously not as famous as The Hoff or Pamela) as well as Bruce Davison and Shane Van Dyke. (What you haven’t heard of him either? Shane Van Dyke is the star in hit movies like ‘The Blair Nurse Project’ and ‘Murder 101: If wishes were horses.’ You can’t even make this stuff up!) And that’s not it. To try and complicate matters they’ve introduced sub-plots that have nothing to do with the story and don’t move the film on at all.

The special effects and CGI are left to be desired for and make the Atari look high tec. The constant jump from computer animation to real time just highlights how poor this film is and quite frankly I’ve seen better effects from the original Thunderbirds.

Asylum Productions are known for releasing ‘mockbusters’ like ‘Snakes on a train’ and ‘Transmorphers’ but they have definitely pushed the boat out here. If you’ve got an hour and a half of your life you don’t want back then STILL DON’T watch this film. Give 'Gigli' another try or maybe 'Anaconda' but NEVER watch this, it’s too late for me. Save yourselves.

From imitation special effects to the ridiculous amounts of silicon breasts, and even a toothless coast guard thrown in for good measure, this has to be the worst film I’ve ever seen and will ever see. I’m only hoping they’re not planning Titanic 3.

Rating: 1/10 (And that’s only because it had A LOT of silicon breasts)

Amsterdam '10 Part 2

The “Girls” turned up ready and raring to go at 19:30, unsure of what they had let themselves in for. After paying €20 for 5 free drinks and free entry to the biggest Red Light District club it seemed a bargain. It was only after when we realised every drink was a shot of Jagermeister which had to be washed down by a €3 half pint, and the club had pool tables in it we questioned the price.

The first club we went into was called Players and gave us all a nostalgic feel to Sheffield. But unlike the Sheffield version, and surprising considering where we were, there was a limited amount of flesh on show. The highlight of the bar was unlimited shots that were squirted directly into our mouths. It was a novelty that distracted us away from the fact it consisted mostly of juice than any other alcoholic substance.

The night continued as any other bar crawl night would and after being advised to “hang on to our penises and pussies” we left Players and walked the short distance to the next bar. I unfortunately can’t go into every detail that happened on the bar crawl but the main details are in every bar we had a free shot of Jagermeister and as the night went on everyone started to get more and more drunk.

One highlight, although I doubt I can use that word, was when we noticed a couple making out behind us. To our surprise it was in fact two guys whose only excuse was “we are great friends and he’s got a girlfriend, but when in Amsterdam.” Shocked and horrified we scampered quickly and headed for the first experience I’ve had of a Dubstep club. As the other previous blogs have said a large majority of us needed some assistance from veterans Sam Moir and Tom Bowles, but as I still didn’t really understand it I resorted to the classic stand on the stage with a group of lads and jump up and down.

The night took a turn for the worse as we closed in on our hostel. After Worrall had successfully navigated us home, a simple piggyback left Erin writhing in pain only 5 feet from the door.
Taking full responsibility for it I set off in search of help, while Erin lay bruised on the concrete. But instead utterly confused myself by running round in circles for a good 2 minutes before trying to enter the wrong room.
Finally getting everyone to bed I feel asleep knowing that the next morning I would be chewing on hay and adjusting my saddle bags in my new role as a donkey.

Awaking from the plastic bed I hoped what had happened was a dream and I thought it might have been, till I opened my eyes to see my finger dislocated and pointing in a different direction and the small cry from underneath my bunk. Heading for breakfast, trying desperately to think of other forms of saying sorry, I was now fully committed to making sure everything was taken care of when it came to Erin. We also established that from now on any form of transport other than taxi and buses on a night out was a big NO NO!

We battled through and after trying to fit our smallest member, LBell in a suitcase, headed for the Red Light District. In the day time we expected something different, however it was very much how we remembered it from the night before, girls girls girls. It was interesting in a way how it was part of their culture and although I had only been there for a day now it wasn’t so much as a shock, it was just their way of life.

Our tour began at the Erotic Museum which was interesting to say the least. After walking round and finding out the history of eroticism we entered a room that reminded me of a children’s play area in a hospital ward. We took our seats on an individual toadstool and sat back to watch a film I can only describe as an X-rated version of Disney. Put it this way, I will never be able to watch Bambi again.

Moving on to the Hash Museum, I was shocked to see how many different kinds of cannabis there are. I was always under the impression cannabis was cannabis but apparently not, there are various different kinds.

Everywhere we looked it was coffee shops, sex shows and sex shops and after much deliberation we chose a nice little place on the canal front to experience our first ever peep show. Being “Girls” we preferred to go in pairs and as we entered our cosy booths it was the moment of truth. €2 for 2 minutes, what to expect? As the machine registered the money the shutter flew up to reveal a girl laughing, it was only after we realised that Skipper and LBell had provoked her as they pointed and went into a fit of giggles. What was disturbing about the whole experience wasn’t what was going on in front of us but that the walls were so thin you could hear what was going on next door. We took advantage of this and decided now would be an appropriate time for Skipper and myself to have a conversation about whether the girl was attractive or not.

Another Macdonalds later and we were starting to lag, especially after wasting half an hour watching a street entertainer do nothing but explain what he could do with a knife, a fockle and an apple. We headed back to the hostel where we enjoyed one more nap and another game of “try and fit a small person in a tight space.” This time we tried the cupboard but again with little success.

As most of you will know the tradition on holiday is to go for a final meal as a group on the last night. After changing the meeting time from 19:30 to 20:30 and finally settling on 21:00 we went to meet the “Super Seven” who had already taken advantage of the by one get one free on offer at the bar. The destination for our meal was a restaurant offering a pizza and drink for €8.50, naturally though I saw the chance to indulge and after being offered unlimited ribs and chips for €12 my mind was made up. Skipper took the chance to turn this into a competition and the atmosphere was now reminiscent to that of the late Wokmania. What we hadn’t been told was the unlimited ribs were capped at 2 plates, obviously because they had ran out, which left us with the chance to negotiate a free drink.

Leaving the restaurant at 23:30 the night was still young and we headed to experience a live sex show at The Moulin Rouge Erotic Club. The general consensus was that it was a bit expensive at €25 but it’s going to be the cheapest we could find. Erin had already shown her disgust in the extortionate prices but after a bit of persuading, “Small girl gets in for free” she was already getting a sticker placed on her breast before we had the chance to digest what had just happened.

We were placed at the back of the theatre but spotting some seats at the front Wheeldon, Bowles, Leebo and I ventured forward to get closer to the action. Unfortunately, the excitement of being close to the stage quickly wore off as Leebo pointed out he didn’t want to be shushed or knocked out by a flying roundhouse kick. So we picked up our drinks and, like underage teenagers in a club, headed back with our heads bowed.

The acts included candles, beads and a pen (I’m sure you can guess what happened) but the highlight of the show was the Banana act which included our very own travellers Chinese Bec and Erin who had to get their 5 a day from the nipple of the girl.

Despite Bowles’ enthusiasm a disappointing side of show was the couple act that, in the words of the “Girls” just “weren’t believable enough as a couple in the heat of passion.” With a front row seat you could see them chatting and joking away, not professional in my eyes. As well as that it was extremely uncomfortable when the guy made eye contact with me.
We left the club at 2:00 and headed home through the deserted Red Light District. With an early start and the return journey still to go we decided that we needed our sleep. After we avoided a man “aschking to use our phone becausch he wasch from Hamburg” and Worrall indulging in a bit of small talk, we called it a night.

The trip back remained sober as we kept the talking to a minimal, but the banter would erupt in bouts as Jon Day ranted about the lack of a tea set in his room and a collection of drunken tweets were read out. The final leg of the journey was even more relaxed with a film marathon including the great Notting Hill. As the bus pulled into Sheffield, only four days after it left, it was hard to think we had done so much in the space of such a short time.

From a personal point of view the trip was a success in every way. I established friendships that without trips like this would never have developed and saw Amsterdam in all its glory. I was undecided whether to go on JournoDam 2010 but I’m glad I did and I’m already excited about where the Journalist will go next.

Amsterdam '10 Part 1

Joining the blogging bandwagon is hard enough at the best of times but I’ve taken on a greater challenge as my first blog will be that of the wonders of Amsterdam and how the Journalists invaded in style.

There is no doubt about it that it’s later than the previous blogs done by Tom Bowles and Andy Wheeldon but I thought instead of burying my head in the sand I would rise to the challenge.
So here it goes.

The journey began on a cold Saturday evening at 19:00 where after a few drinks we boarded the bus for the 15 hour drive. Even at this point it was unknown whether one traveller would make it back from a rugby game in time and even if he had, the fact his bag was still in Bar1 would have meant his choice of outfits were limited.

Still with minutes to spare the bag and the journalist were reunited with the rest of the group and we were on our way.

Now usually a journey like this has all the signs of back ache and cramp but this was different, with alcohol being consumed by the hour and the camaraderie between the travellers growing no one seemed to care about the awkward seating. Instead their attention turned to quoting Smithy and Sport Relief sketches.

Unlike the blogs gone before me, I was not a part of the “Super Seven” instead was a member of the “Girls” a group made up of four girls and two lads, a decision which we were ridiculed on for nearly the whole duration of the trip. I intend therefore to give an account of what life was like in the XX chromosome room and the adventures we had.

After pulling into the hostel we decided to start strong and after freshening up in the public toilets and then waiting for the girls to slap on the makeup and choose their outfits we headed straight back out into the city.

As Bailes was the only one of us who had been here before we decided to give her the role of tour guide. Her first task was to take us to Anne Frank’s House and museum, a good 15 minute walk away. After hearing the words, “Ok Chris, you’re going to have to help me now. I think it’s this road,” there was immediate regret in our decision. Despite this we did make it there in one piece, with the help of new tour guide Tom Donnelly.

Entering the house myself and Tom L (Skipper) made a collective decision to refrain from jokes and immature behaviour until we left again. This lasted about 30 seconds when we were informed that he would have to walk round the entire exhibition with his bag on his chest like a baby. We managed to make it half way round again before his impression of a Dutch person had similarities to the most hated person in the house. But credit to him apart from another slip up when he found a locked door he was well behaved.

The house itself was humbling and put our lives in perspective. When you read entries such as, "Although I'm only fourteen, I know quite well what I want, I know who is right and who is wrong. I have my opinions, my own ideas and principles, and although it may sound pretty mad from an adolescent, I feel more of a person than a child, I feel quite independent of anyone," you understand the maturity she had and her understanding of what was going on around her.
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." The fact she was hiding from the Anti-Jewish regime, she still believed people were good, were loving. I can honestly say the house itself moved me and her entries made you feel grateful for what we have.

As I explained previously, Bailes had been to the city and this museum last summer so out of the entire group we expected her to be waiting for us at the other end. This wasn’t the case and Chinese Bec, the most impatient of the group, started to fidget. It was only afterwards did she inform us that she had spent nearly 3 hours walking round last time.

We decided it was time for food so headed for the nearest fast food establishment. Instead of the standard Macdonalds, Skipper, Bailes and myself headed to a Chinese takeout tucked away down a road. I think the true attraction was to get it in the small boxes you see on Friends and other American Sitcoms. Although the food was moderately edible, seeing Bailes break a chopstick in half was the highlight of the food trip.

I think it is about time I introduce the "Girls" one by one.

Chinese Bec/Bec/Becky-Nickname refers to the fact that when she was tired her eyes squint. Definitely the most impatient of the group.

Beachball Bailey/Bailes- The only one of us who had been here before, yet as we have come to expect from Bailes her sense of direction is well and truly shocking. Also loved her coach/queue/lift and room pictures.

Erin-Usually the smallest one of the group but not this time. Got an angry side but did keep it under control, most of the time.

Tom L/Skipper-The most laid back one of the group, not fussed what we did or where we went as long as we did something. Would have been quite content with throwing his novelty frisbee around for 2 days.

Lauren/LBell-The smallest of the group and the one person we tried to fit in every crevice we could find. Also the funniest to see trying to get ordered at a bar.

Me- Fought for the only socket plug in the room to plug my straighteners in and brought the food that kept the group high on sugar.

Now the formalities are done, the next port of call was to watch the Liverpool game at a local pub just down the road from our hostel. As a Liverpool fan it started well but as always immediately went downhill from there. Despite the game’s enthralling intensity, everyone’s eyes were focused on the bar maid who had an attitude that matched the size of the heads on the beer. Another confusing technique they used was that when ordering from the waiters you had to be sat down. A technique “The Wheel” found more confusing by the fact he was stood at the bar when the waiter came over.

After the game, it was back to the hostel, after a Macdonald’s of course, for a nap and mental preparation for our first night out in a city where cannabis and prostitution is legal.